Courtship, Dating, Proposal.

What is the Difference?

What to do, and what not to do.

Courtship is the period when a man tries to woo a woman with the intention of marriage while dating on the other hand does not have marriage as a goal

Courtship has one singular motive which is to find a spouse, confirm compatibility and will of God. It is the next level of dating. It officially starts when a proposal is made, and you both decide to take things seriously. It involves knowing and discussing future goals and prospects, visions, values, and motives. At this point, both families are officially aware of the relationship.

Dating could be a social hangout with no strings attached. However, it is also tricky here, because indulge in unacceptable behaviour hence, they

hide the relationship from their parents.

In dating most individuals get deceived thinking they are courting while it is a mere friendship, at the end of the day someone assumes they have been disappointed with the feeling of being used and dumped when the other person moves on to another relationship. This happens when a relationship is not defined from the beginning, like I said in my previous video, that every relationship needs to be defined from the very start to avoid waste of time, energy and resources, and to maintain boundaries.

So, Courtship has a specific end from the start while dating has no clear purpose or intention.

Courtship takes away confusions like: what are we? what do you want from me? are we friends or is there more to this?  Courtship and everything that happens in the process is and should be intentional.

According to Nona Jones,

Dating is like a comma whereas courting is like a period.

Courting vs dating, 2008.

In dating marriage is not discussed, yet they relate as though they are married couples, everything obtainable in marriage plays out even though they are not married. Those involved in dating are afraid of commitment, most of them do not care about the future of the relationship, and most times if it comes up in their discussion, it leads to fights and arguments.

The question is, why act married if indeed you are not, and not ready for commitment? Therefore, people have kids out of wedlock, children experiencing the trauma of broken homes, and single parenting which takes its toll on the children due to the choices the adult or parents made.

It is unfortunate that today courtship has been pushed to the back and replaced with dating. But a true Christian believer believes and upholds courtship which is the rightful part and process to a godly relationship that materializes into marriage.

Courtship is not popular in the society of today because they choose to play in darkness and secrets. And because it allows parents involvement(aware), it mostly results in marriage and sexual intimacy is not allowed, the process is monitored to avoid going beyond boundaries, and so all these principles, couples of this generation are opposed to them. They just want to make their own decision without parental input of any kind. They believe sexual intimacy is a relief activity, so they engage in it at will in any kind of relationship.

In courtship the moment a relationship is established, parents are informed and allowed to give their opinions or inputs if needed. Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established”.  Family involvement in courtship gives you the opportunity to know who you are dealing with and the family standards, it could also be an avenue or a door that opens your eyes to things you do not know about your significant other. You do not want to realize later that you have dived into an ocean that you possibly cannot swim in.

In courtship, commitment precedes intimacy, unlike worldly dating where intimacy comes before commitment. So, which one is better? Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life” This scripture is important in every relationship as it helps us no to make the mistake of calling black, white, i.e., choosing the wrong person, and to look beyond the physical attributes of that person.

I will say dating simply means testing food. It is a game, and you cannot play games with a lifetime decision or event.

IMPORTANT FACTS TO NOTE:

  • Not all courtship ends in marriage.
  • A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
  • Genuine friendship is the foundation of a good and godly relationship.
  • Make your friendship strong and genuine.
  • Dating is a trial-and-error process.
  • Shun “leading one another to avoid unnecessary disappointment.
  • Courtship/dating is not marriage.
  • Do not put yourself in a position that you will be responding to your flesh instead of the Spirit of God.
  • Do not commit yourself to someone who is not ready to make a real commitment, it is risky.
  • Do not force yourself or anyone to commit to the relationship, it must be willful, if not, then it is not genuine.
  • Do not prioritize love alone, there are other things to consider as well to complement love.
  • When a proposal is made, do not let your guards down, because the proposal does not mean married,
  • Not all Proposals end in tying the knot(marriage),
  • Be watchful, some proposals are just a trap from the pit of hell or for the other person to get their desires or satisfaction.

When you get into a car, you must have a destination or direction of where you are going, else you roam, burning your fuel for nothing and at the end of the day, nothing is achieved. So, do not waste your precious time in a fruitless drive, not with a lifetime or lifelong things like this.

proposal

WHAT TO DO AFTER YOU GOT A PROPOSAL:

  • Pray and seek the face of God to know if it is His Will, before saying yes or no.
  • Give it time for reflection.
  • Do not be haste to say yes.
  • After confirming your answer, keep praying and watch.
  • Make sure to give your answer at the right time, to avoid wasting the other person’s time.

Hopefully, this helps to stir your relationship wheels in the right direction. All the best in your relationship as the Lord guides your footsteps.

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YOU ARE A STAR

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I am too
Always shining,
Never a dull moment.
When they look at you from a far distance, they presume you to be little, not big enough, yet from a distance you still radiate, and they don’t understand why.

Distance, rather than reduce your brightness enhances it and makes you to twinkle. ✨✨
When they look at you from a close range your brightness radiates so great that it envelopes them, impacts them and even overwhelmes them, they still don’t understand.

When they try to close there eyes so that your presence will not disturb or intimidate them, you always find a way to shine through the tiniest space or hole left beautifully. πŸŽ‡πŸŽ†
And when there is no space or hole, your reflection is still felt or seen clearly.
You cannot be silenced
You cannot be covered
You are a great influencer
Do not give anyone a reason to say or see otherwise.

Shine bright like the star you are.πŸ’–
Always Radiate your potentials
Don’t give up no matter how bad
Shine bright like a diamondβœ¨πŸ’Ž

Girl, if you are reading this,
Tell yourself “You are a Star”πŸŒŸπŸŽ†
And that you will keep shining.
You are born a Star,
If you are not, make yourself one😘

Cheers
Happy Shine✨
Lots of love fromπŸ’–πŸ’–

Β© Peace Onyebuchi

Role Model Suitability Test

35,485 Role Model Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images

IS IT RIGHT TO SAY ” DO NOT FOLLOW ME BECAUSE I’M HUMAN, CHRIST IS OUR ROLE MODEL ONLY HIM WE SHOULD FOLLOW”

Jesus Christ is our role model, the Author and Finisher of our Faith(Hebrews 12:2).

He alone is perfect, flawless and make no errors, hence, we are to live like Him(Philippians 2:2-8). He is our perfect example of Role model.

However, that does not mean you, as a person cannot be a role model too. It’s time to stop the excuse, Jesus Christ Himself wants us to show the world, who He is, His love, kindness, care and the act of mercy through our lifestyle, the way we live our lives and character(Genesis1:27)………

If you are not a positive role model, you cannot be a leader - Turning  Managers into Leaders

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Season Greetings

πŸŽ†πŸŽ†πŸŒ²πŸŒ²πŸŒ²πŸŒ²πŸŽ‡πŸŽ‡πŸŽ‡

May the Christmas season fill your homes with Joy, your hearts with love, your life with laughter.

A big thank you for stopping by to read, like, share and comment on my blog.

I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a beautiful New Year. 🌲🌲🌲

I look forward to seeing you in 2021.πŸ’•πŸ’•

Β© Peace Onyebuchi

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF.

Build your self esteem, Know who you are and accept  ‘You’ as ‘You’  and work on your weak areas.
We all have weaknesses but don’t let it overwhelm you.
Comparing yourself makes you lose sight of who you really are.
It makes it hard for you to enjoy who you are and be fulfilled as a girl, lady, woman.
Don’t allow anyone take the wheel off your hand.
Don’t allow other people take the driver seat of your life
Don’t allow their status, position or achievements make you feel less of yourself.
You can do better.
Just build on what you already have in your hand, and source out if you have to, think yourself to be special and unique in your own way.
Resist those little voices in your head.
Tell yourself  “Yes I can do” and the Lord will crown your efforts with glory and make your “Wow” factor visible again.

Cheers
Be happy

Β© Peace Onybuchi

A Can Do Attitude.

Keep moving, keep pushing. “The road to success is always under construction” – Steve Harvey.

When you set your goals always remember that something or things will happen along the line that will cause redirection. There’s not always a straight line to it. Don’t stop, Develop a “can do” attitude, that drives your actions, be firm and resilient and you will get there, it’s a matter of time well utilized.

Cheers πŸ’ͺ 🌟

Time to shed your cocoon.

How bad can it be ? There’s so much going on around and within you, the good, the bad and the ugly. But you choose to focus on the outward; always put on a smiling face with beautiful make-up, but right inside you are bleeding.

We all have it. We all have ashes somehow. It could be the past, which has broken, crushed and left you wounded for years within. It could be the present, and every fresh morning is like a fresh hell.

Hey! heads up, there is hope and redemption. God has promised in (Isaiah 61:3)To appoint into those that mourn in zion, to give them beauty for ashes, oil of Joy for moruning, garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified”

Time for your change is now. It’s time to give it all up, and shed those weights. It’s time to position yourself for this change, just like a caterpillarπŸ›πŸ› aligning itself in the right position because he is aware that change is around the corner and it is certain. If this is not done the full potential will never be reached. You must shed the cocoon, the veil, that has limited you. Give up your ashes, ashes of isolation, ashes of shame, ashes of rejection, anger, inferiority complex, ashes of not-good-enough etc.

This is transition time. It’s time to receive beauty for your ashes. You are the Apple of God’s eyes, bought with a precious price and you are royal, don’t dwell or withhold your ashes, Drop it. Even the caterpillar is eager to come out of the cocoon, immediately it’s time, it breaks forth and begin to fly with its new and well decorated wings. This is how it should be for you now. Be eager to come out, the world is waiting for you to fly and soar, and keep soaring. When the butterfly comes out of its cocoon it never goes back to it, it flys until the day it dies.

Give it up, dust off the ashes and allow God to decorate you again with beautiful wings to fly. Come off it now, stand tall, be the pineapple lady, wear your πŸ‘‘ crown, you can be sweet again inside and out, allow your inside beauty speak . You are beautifully designed. Soar high and reach for the sky.πŸ’•πŸ’•

Pedal on, Don’t give up.

Dreams motivate and keeps me going. It fires me up and makes me get on my feet and start scribbling things down for a new book. When you have dreams it fires you up to face your challenges, not allowing them to stop you, because you want your dreams to come alive, Zech.4:6-9. KeepΒ  going until the final whistle is blown as in a football field. Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow today’s dreams because the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Situations around will make you see your mission as ‘impossible’ but be courageous, and don’t give-in to them. With God all things are possible. Many have left and abandoned their marriages, children, jobs/carrer, passion, even ministerial callings because of challenges.Β 

Refuse to quit, refuse to end before its time. When others are saying there is a casting down, say to yourself there is lifting for me –Job 22:28-29. Make these challenges the stepping stones to your goal and achievement, use them as a platform for your next move. They are part of the subjects you have to take in life’s training especially as a child of God. You can’t take some and leave some subjects –Job 2:10b. It’s all in the package.

Challenges make life interesting, but overcoming them makes life meaningful. Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance. Do not stop until it’s all over, quitting should not be an option at all. It’s ok to take a good break if you have to refuel. Hold on and move forward, looking unto Jesus Christ the Author and finisher of our Faith.

If you let God be your referee, you will never be ashamed, rather than be a quitter you will be a winner, and rather than be a victim you will beΒ  a victor. Don’t stop when God (your referee) has not blown the whistle .

See you at the finishing line

Cheers πŸš΅βœ…

Go Get it.

There’s something going on in your mind for some time now. It has been brewing so strong like a tsunami inside of you. Don’t wave it off. You will agree with me that anytime it starts, the feeling is like you can actually touch it right ?

I want to encourage your heart, be charged, be determined,, let the fire burn, don’t let it turn into ashes, it’s time, Go Get it.

Like William James will say, “there is nothing so fatiguing as the external hanging of an uncompleted task” . The task has already started in your Spirit man/ mind, you have to complete it by giving it a face, give it a name, let the sun shine on it. Don’t wait till you feel like doing anything before you do it. Start now because it is connected to your valued success in life.

You may not have a perfect time to dig. Remember, God could not wait for Peter to finish preaching before baptizing Cornelius with Holy Ghost because it was time. You don’t need to have everything before you start. Zig Ziglar once said “You don’t have to be great to start, you have to start to be great”. So I implore you to Go Get it. See you on the other side Cheers.πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

Strengthen the core.

Hello beautiful, don’t loose the sight of who you are. Like pineapple🍍, get a strong confident posture.
When the core is strong, you will carry yourself with confidence, being in control of your life not feeling defeated/ inferior or lost.
Your dress sense will change and you will feel great within because the core is strongπŸ’ͺ.
Your Core is within you. Find it. How strong is yours right now ? It will be nice to hear from you.πŸ’–